Here at Hallmark Hotels, we’ve seen the aftermath of more Christmas parties than you could shake a dubious photocopy at. There are a few things you can count on at every seasonal gathering, and here are out top moments to look out for amongst your colleagues.
1. The quiet one who gets loud
You can always be sure that Maggie from accounts, who wouldn’t say boo to a goose for 364 days of the year, will suddenly discover her inner wild child. Be sure to look out for her rounding up all the single ladies for a bit of Beyoncé.
2. The one who misunderstands the dress code
As a rule, always go a bit conservative with your outfit. That’s because everyone remembers the manager’s wife wearing ‘that’ sexy Santa costume, and you definitely don’t want to join her in that infamous lineup.
3. The one who confesses everything
You know Tony from the second floor? He’s always had a crush on you, and best of all, he wants to spend two hours telling you about it during the one fun night that you get at work. Close it down as quickly as possible.
4. The one who starts the gossip
People who work together either like each other, or they don’t. Be assured that, as soon as you introduce alcohol into that equation, some fairly fiery rumours will soon start doing the rounds. Stand back, don’t get involved and enjoy.
5. The one you never realised you fancied before
Stewart from sales has never looked better in his sweater vest, and the minute he starts belting out Lady in Red, you would give anything to be dancing cheek-to-cheek with him. Don’t do it, and especially, don’t do it to this song!
There’s a disco, and there’s a free bar. Put those together, introduce a dash of Michael Jackson, and you’ll soon see who has two left feet, and whose feet don’t even seem to be connected to the rest of their body.
7. The one who drinks too much
Sometimes when you drink too much, you get a hangover the next day. Do it at the Christmas party, and that hangover lasts a whole year. Make sure it isn’t you.
8. The one who DJs
Why would your company stump up for a professional DJ when Ken, your line manager, will happily dust down his vinyl collection and do it for free. Just as well that, in 2015, everyone still loves Michael Bolton.
9. The one nobody quite recognizes
He might be the cleaner’s fiancé. He might work in IT. However, one thing is for sure; nobody seems to be quite sure who he is, and why he’s at your Christmas party.
10. The ones who kiss who really shouldn’t have
There is one sure-fire way to destroy a good working relationship, and that is to turn it into a bad dancefloor relationship. We’ve all done it, and we’ve all regretted it. Much better to be one of the many, many, horrified onlookers who can judge silently, or indeed very loudly if you prefer.